iAsk: Marco Tant, Missionary to Italy with International Gospel Outreach {PART 1}

Every Monday I will be posting new interviews with Christian leaders to find in-depth counsel on issues such as ministry, family, careers, politics, finance, and theology. Today's in-depth interview is with career missionary to Italy, Marco Tant. Marco and I met at a men's discipleship event earlier this year and have been building our personal relationship since then . Marco's sending and covering agency is International Gospel Outreach located in Semmes, Alabama. This interview is TWO parts. The detailed responses from the seven questions I asked Marco will give readers and a real indepth look inside a missionary's life. Tomorrow Part TWO will be posted. 

Marco Tant-Missionary to Italy

Paul: 1. Marco-I appreciate you sharing your heart with me and our online community. As a full-time missionary, what are some misconceptions that people place on you and your family? Have you had difficulties confronting people or even churches? 
Marco: First I should warn you that I am a very passionate person that sees and understands things that break my heart. So I normally speak very honestly about what fellow missionaries go through and pray daily that I can be apart of the change!

Other than getting Americans to see Europe as a mission field (not just Africa, the Middle East and Asia) here are a few misconceptions out of many that I could name:

1. One of the greatest misconceptions is that the U.S. church, as a whole, supports missions rather than missionaries that do missions. Most missionaries are seldom contacted by local supporting churches for months and even years at a time while the missionary is on the field and is seen as someone taking money from their budget rather than an extension of that church. In all honesty, missionaries are treated very poorly from church leadership and look for every reason to drop missionaries so that their fifty dollars a month can be spent on themselves. Don’t get me wrong, we have some great pastors and churches that support us but the overall environment is such and not just for us as a family but it is a reality that missionaries suffer continuously. In this reality, as I have recently learned, missionaries go underfunded and suffer for bare necessities for their families as they serve on the field. I was shocked to find that most missionaries are operating off of credit cards just to make missions happen. They suffer from medical bills from living in sub-par conditions and are swamped with other expenditures while on the field. It is said that missions is the last to change in the body of Christ but I think something needs to be done now. This is not just working to change a system but rather working to change the way we love and support those missionaries that are giving up so much just to help others. 

2. Another misconception is that we just need to support local believers (nationals) rather than sending in foreign missionaries. I have seen this first hand on the field when we had a gentleman from a well known organization that works with the persecuted church in Iran come and try to raise some support in our small Italian churches. When asked how he was going to use the money, we where shocked to find out that he wanted the money to pay for gender changes for ex-Muslim women so that they could evangelize Muslim men. Needless to say I encouraged my Italians not to invest in evangelistic sex changes. While just supporting nationals works in some context, I have spoken to people from different countries that tell of stories where other nationals have simply learned how to milk the American churches for finances in knowing what to say and how to say it. I know Italian nationals that do this continuously and use the money to lavish their lives and even hinder the work of the gospel. We cannot substitute supporting American missionaries to foreign fields. 

3. I should probably stop here but the last misconception I could mention is that supporting missions is sending a family overseas, getting newsletters that we pin to our bulletin boards and patting ourselves on the back as we tell others that we support missions. Missions is a body ministry and has nothing to do with just loading up a couple and their things, shedding a few tears and sending them away as we wave goodbye. Missionary families on the field are an extension of the (American) Church and the (American) churches that support them. These supporting churches are to work together and through that missionary family to strengthen and encourage the national churches. The partnership would be such that the supporting churches would have a finger on the heart beat of that country and know exactly what is needed to succeed in reaching their people. These churches would send necessary help for providing teaching through conference type meetings that the missionary could teach and disciple through once that individual or team of individuals are gone. The (American) Church would be active in countries rather than just waiting for newsletters that make sending our fifty dollars a month to a missionary couple feel worth it. Missionaries have and do work wonders with what little support they get from home churches but they were never meant to do the entire job alone. Missions is a body ministry!

Marco and his wife and team

Paul: 2. Cross-cultural missions is really about seeing the Body of Christ in action. Having personally traveled to many nations, it amazes me every time how God's people are sown in various areas of the world. So then what drew you into missions? How did you know you were to be a full-time missionary? and what were some fears you had to overcome? 
Marco:  So what drew me into missions?

Well it has a lot to do with my testimony, in that after I got radically saved I was awestruck in finding out how many people in my life that were Christians but never told me about Christ. I became an instant evangelist as I began to read the bible for the first time and saw Jesus purposefully going after those who were the worst in society. I did not have any religious background and so I just believed what I had read. So I befriended gang-bangers, prostitutes, homosexuals and the like as I went into the bars and night clubs as well as their communities to share Jesus. I was immediately inducted into real ministry to real people who had real needs. I read about Paul doing missionary journeys and began to hear about others who are still doing the same today. I had to get involved and began to support missions but never saw myself as one.

How did I know I was to be a full-time missionary?

I was in the Air Force and asked the Lord, in prayer, what I should do with my life. I had control of it up to that point and made an utter mess of it before I knew Jesus and now I just wanted to live for Him. Romans 8:14 became my life verse as it states “Those who are led by the Spirit of God are the sons of God”.  Well, as you know, God is always faithful and answered me back with this idea that I was suppose to be a missionary to Italy. I was shocked because I thought Italy was like America with a church on every corner and no need of a missionary until I did my research and found that it is in desperate need. From there I had that calling confirmed in many ways to include strangers that would meet me and ask me if I was going to follow God’s call on my life and become a missionary. That was where it all began years ago.

and what were some fears I had to overcome?

The biggest fear, believe it or not, was not the Italian Mafia or other challenges like that as I was accustom to extreme ministry but rather my biggest fear was raising support. It was huge!!! I had to learn to trust believers with supporting my family in a foreign land and not just do that once but rather learn to live like that for the rest of my life. It sounds to others who never lived this way to seem as though I just need to have faith but when you can’t trust believers to pray, read their bible or evangelize how could I trust them for support. It was a big step for me and I have learned to trust God in people like never before in my Christian life and it is paying off in my relationship both on and off the field.

Marco serving in Italy

Paul: 3. Let's talk about giving (chuckling). Yes, I know it's a sensitive subject across all ministries and churches and especially full-time missionaries like yourself. What role does giving play in cross-cultural missions? People give locally to churches and other ministries that they see but what is your personal experience and advice for others about the heart of giving into missions and missionary families that they may not see personally?  
Marco: Major!!! It is like going to Walmart and seeing nothing on the shelves. Walmart, in that condition, would now become useless to anyone who ever wanted to go there and so is missions without support. A missionary is only a missionary if he can sustain himself in that land. The Church in America cannot afford not to support missions as we are one body and when one suffers all suffer. Being involved in missions and supporting missions is as fundamental to a Christian as reading his bible or praying. 

This is a loaded question (chuckling). Out-of-sight and out-of-mind has been the overall missionary support environment and culture. Even though people get newsletters and/or emails there is nothing like seeing that person in real life. I think pastors and missions committees with a missions vision can help create environments in their churches where the out-of-sight and out-of-mind culture no longer exists. Missionaries keep up with hundreds of supporters and need help in the relationship between the church and the missionary. Usually the full responsibility for the relationship is from an overworked missionary family that has to take all the responsibility for relationships with hundreds of supporters which makes them feel overworked all the more. The flip side of that is we have missionaries that are supported fully by their denominations but their denomination churches never see their missionaries and never interact with the missionary families as if missions is an appendage to the church and not focal. We have spoken in denominational churches to raise support and they have told us that we are the first missionaries they have ever heard from the entire existence of the church. I think that there has to be a sound foundation for relationship (on both sides) and the congregation will fall in love with the missionary family that they support and are willing to do what ever is necessary to see them succeed and are well supported. I have seen this in a few churches and it is absolutely beautiful. 

PLEASE NOTE: If you would like to financially support Marco and their missionary family to Italy please contact International Gospel Outreach at (251) 645-2117.

Part Two is tomorrow....

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iAsk: Pastor Ron McCants, Ministry Ambassador with In Touch Ministries

Every Monday I will be posting new interviews with Christian leaders to find in-depth counsel on issues such as ministry, family, careers, politics, finance, and theology. Today's interview is with Pastor Ron McCants with In Touch Ministries. Pastor Ron and I met earlier this year at a men's discipleship event in Florida and have stayed connected encouraging and praying for each other. 

Pastor Ron McCants

PAUL: First if you can give a small summary of who you are, what you do and what is your greatest passion in life?
 
RON: I have been in ministry for 35+ years, mostly in Tennessee and Florida. Barbara and I have been married 42 years and our lives together just get better with each passing year!

We recently moved to the Atlanta area to accept a position as Ministry Ambassador with In Touch Ministries. As an Ambassador I travel and call on Ministry Partners – sort of a Pastoral extension of Dr. Stanley’s ministry. It is such a joy to get to meet so many people and pray with them about their needs and hear what God is doing in their lives.

An added bonus is living less than an hour from our daughter and her family and getting to worship with them! We are about to launch a Life Group in our home beginning in January.

The mention of family brings me to the greatest passion in my life – relational discipleship. What joy to see people grow in their relationship with Jesus.  As the Body of Christ walks in right relationship with Him it must involve a relationship with each other. The purest form of discipleship happens in close quarters!

PAUL: 1. Pastor Ron, thank you for taking the time to share your heart with me. I would like to first ask you what has the Lord been impressing upon your heart the most this year? Its been a year of ups and downs for many families and ministries. What has the Lord been talking to you personally about?

RON: Since this has been a year of tremendous transition for us it is hard to get beyond what He began speaking to my heart the beginning of the year – Isaiah 54:2 – enlarge…stretch…lengthen…strengthen!

It seems sort of strange in a time when everything around us seems to be shrinking but the initial imperative for Israel and for us – enlarge – refers to the “place” of our tents. I believe that while we are facing those “ups and downs” we should not retreat or downsize our thinking. It was a prophetic word for Israel – He wants to be the God of the Gentiles – and it is a prophetic word for us – there are many people out there that are unlike us that we should enlarge the place of our tent to include!

The transition of ministry for us has placed us squarely in the midst of people I never could have imagined I would be. He may be shuffling the entire deck of Christianity…

Pastor Ron ministering

PAUL: 2. If we take a holistic view on the body of Christ today with all its spiritual victories and weaknesses, what have you observed as being barriers to unity among the brethren? Also, how can we begin to heal some of these issues?

RON: As referenced above, God has a larger place for us. I believe that means that we should not narrow our focus to strictly those circles in which we have been comfortable. As one person said (I don’t remember!) “Everyone is a 10 at something.” For the Body of Christ that means we can’t discount any stream of tradition.

It may seem like a cliché but we need each other, and we need to focus on the things that unite, not the things that divide us into different camps. And I don’t mean to include every heresy and extreme theology. Let’s work on those things that are not essentials of the faith and cling to those that are.

There is ONE place where we are all alike – at the foot of the Cross. There is ONE spiritual discipline in which if we engage together, it would heal not only the Body but the culture – prayer!

PAUL: 3. Many are concerned today about the decline of morality and spiritual hunger in our country these days, what hope do you see for a revival to awaken? Some say that natural disasters like Katrina, Sandy, and violent tornadoes are God's judgements against America. Does this have any significance for Christians in America?

RON: I heard Bishop B.E. Underwood say many years ago that in the world there are two agendas. The devil’s agenda is that in the end times perilous times would come, but the Lord’s agenda is that in the last days HE would pour out His Spirit upon all flesh. Whose agenda will we follow?

I don’t think we can specifically say that natural disasters are necessarily from God – if He is punishing or judging America, then why are there more disasters in other parts of the world? The recent earthquake and typhoon in the Philippines is an example. Are they more corrupt than America? This is an example of comparing ourselves among ourselves and we are not wise (fools) – 2 Corinthians 10:12.

That does not mean that we are exempt from God’s judgment. We do have much to answer for, especially the Christian community but we can’t pinpoint a natural disaster as being judgment from God any more than we can pinpoint the cause of the man born blind to his or his parents’ sin! (John 9)

Pastor Ron preaching

PAUL: 4. As a seasoned minister, what counsel can you share with young people in my generation on walking in the fear of the Lord? It seems many have lost sight of this and enjoy messages of hyper-grace and living life as one seems good and right. It deeply concerns me seeing an imbalance of truth and grace. Pastor Ron, share with me your father's heart on this.

RON: We have so misunderstood the fear of the Lord. The first definition listed for that phrase in most commentaries and lexicons is “morally, reverence.” The concept is that we revere God – hold Him in such high esteem – that we would not want to do anything to disappoint Him.

The best example I can come up with is that any child wants to please their father (parents) so badly they will do or refrain from doing anything, regardless of his or her home life or treatment from their parent. That seems to be innate for all of us.

So it is with our loving Heavenly Father. We cannot use the great grace poured out on us as a license to act any way we want towards God or fellow man. Although we don’t have to DO anything to receive His grace, because of His grace and my reverence of Him why would I do anything to displease Him? My greatest goal is to know Him (the fellowship of His suffering and the power of His resurrection); His goal for me is that Christ be formed in me. I don’t envision Christ presuming on the grace of God to act in His own self-interests, otherwise the Cross would not have happened!

Young people, please do not take the liberty of your freedom in Christ to diminish His life and power within you to be Godly examples. As Paul wrote to Timothy, his son in the faith, I would admonish your generation to “pursue righteousness….” Read 2 Timothy 2, especially verses 19-22.

PAUL: 5. One conclusion I have noticed is our generation is thirsty for transparent leaders and spiritual fathers and mothers. Having said that, looking back into your walk with the Lord what are some personal disappointments have you been through that may help someone avoid them in the future?

RON: I think the greatest disappointments I have had came from making decisions (early on) without really laying out the options to trusted mentors or spiritual fathers. When I began my walk with the Lord and in ministry that concept was not really on the radar screen in most of Christianity, at least in my circles of influence.

I would NEVER make another major decision without having at least 2-3 mentors whom I look up to and respect as fathers in the faith giving me their blessings. Find them, stick to them like barnacles on a pier, and trust God to speak through them. But at the end of the day…you make the decision.

And I must say, not to my own credit, my life has had very few disappointments. God has been good to me. Someone said that you are not old until regrets replace dreams – I must be very young!

PAUL: 6. On a more lighter note, What are your plans for Thanksgiving? Any interesting family traditions you do that you can share?

Pastor Ron and his wife Barbara

RON: Actually, our plans for Thanksgiving this year are brand new. Living in Florida and our daughter, Stephanie, living in NE Georgia, we have been having Thanksgiving with her family – Kirk and Will and Kirk’s parents and extended family. This year they are all coming to our house! Pray hard for Barbara. She approaches it a little differently than me – for me if there is food and family it is a good day, no matter the quality of the food…or the family!

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The Internal Enemy of Women: Comparison

Most women do not struggle with looking lustfully upon men's bodies. The way the eye of women usually works has largely to do with COMPARISONS.

Comparison: 

• to examine (two or more objects, ideas, people, etc.) in order to note similarities and differences
• to appear in a similar standing
• to differ in quality or accomplishment as specified
• to rival   

Comparing Each Other

Women tend to look at other women and compare themselves. They try to be attractive to men, but they sometimes measure their attractiveness by comparing themselves to the appearance of other women. Sometimes they will survey the group until their eyes land on the woman they consider most attractive, and then the comparisons begin.... (Summary text taken from A Covenant with My Eyes, pg 117)

Catering to the desire of women to recover their youthfulness, entire industries have arisen that enable women to undergo a host of medical procedures to enhance their attractiveness. Our culture doesnt give women the permission to age. Something that should be celebrated (the regal beauty of a woman's crowning years) is turned into competition to try to look seventeen again. (Summary text taken from A Covenant with My Eyes, pg 120)

As men we tend to quickly dismiss the waves of emotions that go though our wives, mothers, and sisters not understanding an enemy internally in them that is trying to dismantle their self-image, value and worth-this enemy is called Comparison. It happens to pastors wives, to stay-at-home moms, to business women, to nurses, to teachers, to care-givers all over the world. As much as women try to understand the internal pressures and struggles in sexual temptations for men, we as men, must do the same with greater compassion for the women in our lives. For our wives, our mothers, our sisters and ladies around the world who desperately need to know they are valued, protected, and honored.

 Here Are 5 Ways For Women to Combat the Battle of Comparing

Walk in Freedom!

Yourself: 

1. Receive God's Affection! You were created by God and in His image. He affirms you as a beautiful daughter of the King! Walk in majestic beauty knowing your heavenly Father absolutely loves you!

2. Forgive your Dad! The father gives the identity to the children. As much as we have fatherless sons, we have more fatherless daughters. Without affection from their Dad, without loving embraces, without words of affirmation, daughters begin to question their self-worth. Am I beautiful enough? Is something wrong with me? Am I a good daughter? Cutoff the enemy's stronghold and forgive your father for not embracing you, not affirming you, not loving you with emotion when you needed it most. Healing brings joy.

3. Confess Your Struggle! The Bible says in James 5:16, "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." Let your husband know your struggle. How you feel ugly, how you compared yourself to another woman, how you desired to be more attractive like "that" girl. If you are single, share with a spiritual mother and pray together. Don't live in comparisons live in freedom!

4. Spend time with godly women! The more time you spend with women who are humble, meek, modest, and Spirit-led the more you will have a desire to please the Lord instead of posting more "selfies" on social media. Proverbs 13:20, "Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm."

5. Volunteer/Serve! As men tend to find themselves trapped in porn when they are alone, lonely, or in depression so women need to understand that constantly viewing pictures of other women, their families, their lifestyles, for hours a day obviously will cause comparison to arise internally. Cut-it off by doing good. Volunteer more at church, serve at local non-profits, visit elderly, create care packages for those in need. When we shift focus from me to the those in need we become blessed stewards of the time God gives us.

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iAsk: Lead Pastor Jennifer McAfee of Villages Community Church

Every Monday I will be posting new interviews with Christian leaders to find in-depth counsel on issues such as ministry, family, careers, politics, finance, and theology. Today's interview is with Assembly of God Lead Pastor of Villages Community Church in Fort Worth, Texas Jennifer McAcfee.
 

Lead Pastor-Jennifer McAfee

PAUL: First if you can give a small summary of who you are, what you do and what is your greatest passion in life?

JENNIFER: I am a wife to an incredible man of God who works as a Lead Software Quality Assurance Tester. We celebrated our 6 year wedding anniversary a few weeks ago, and have an amazing 2 year old daughter. I am the lead pastor of a new church plant in Northeast Fort Worth, Villages Community Church. I also serve on the Northeast Fort Worth Section Committee as the Secretariat. I am passionate about seeing God in every moment, hearing God's direction, correction, and instruction, and courageously obeying Him at all costs. I love building the local church, encouraging ministers, and cultivating leadership.

PAUL: 1. Jennifer, share with me the lessons you have personally learned that may help emerging Christian women leaders from your story of you becoming a Lead Pastor in a local church? As you know, women in high ranking leadership roles both in the secular world and in the religious circles have been given little if any encouragement to pursue callings of leadership. 

JENNIFER: What comes to mind is stop worrying about what other people say and think. There will be a lot of people for you and a lot of people not for you. Those who are opposed will be the loudest in your ears, foremost in your thoughts, and heaviest on your heart. You have to operate on a level of self-control that many do not. Rather than allowing these discouragements to control you, you must control them with peaceful mind of Christ. Rather than fixating on opposition, surround yourself with a stellar support system of both women and men of God. I am learning that I will receive as much encouragement as I am willing to discover. 
  
 As a woman called to ministry, you will be hard pressed to find the same opportunities in mentoring, relationship, and visibility as men in ministry. I have learned that I can't wait for those opportunities to appear, rather I have to seek them out. I have grown a thick skin, enabling me to ask and see. You have to be able to stomach rejection and let it go rather than holding on to it and being bitter. Are you willing to engage a mentoring relationship that is less formal? Read books, ask to sit in on meetings a couple times a year, always have three questions prepared to ask, etc. There was a time I sat around waiting for opportunity and encouragement to come to me. It was lonely. It was depressing. It was a distraction from the mission of Christ to be working through me. When God called me to step out and plant a church, He also gave me key correction in how to engage leaders in my life, and my life has never been the same. God said, "Jennifer, I have called you to love, encourage, and support your leaders. Do that and let me do the rest." It was the absolute most liberating choice of obedience I have ever made. I saw God transform people's hearts, minds, and perspectives not by my persuasion, but by His transformation alone. 
  
Now I feel absolutely encouraged, loved, and supported. Why? Because I have chosen to surround myself with the leaders God has called me to encourage, love, and support. I do not seek formal mentoring from them, rather I choose to allow them to shape my life as I encourage, love, and support them. It is mentoring on my terms, in a manner that isn't about what I get from them, but in a manner led by how I can offer honor, service, and unconditional love.

PAUL: 2. What do you feel is the most significant barrier to female Christian leadership? and as a follow up...how did you personally overcome such obstacles?

JENNIFER: We need visible examples to follow. There is an incredible void of opportunity when it comes to women leaders being visible. The value of this visibility isn't equality, recognition, or prestige. High level visibility of women serving in lead pastoral roles is important so that other women can see that it is and can be done. Prior to God radically calling me to plant churches, being a lead pastor was never on my radar. 

 I grew up with my Dad sitting me on his knee and whispering in my ear, "You can do and be anything God tells you to do and be." Yet somewhere along the way I internalized a belief that there were certain things God only used men to do, and leadership was one of those things. Where did this belief come from? I was not raised to believe that. I received a call to ministry at a young age. I am the oldest of five children. I have always been a leader in every context I have ever been in since I was a child. Yet leading in ministry never crossed my mind. I assumed I would be a pastor's wife. When I graduated SAGU unmarried and absolutely single, I sought out positions in children's ministry and worship, because that is what a woman could do. 

Where did this mindset come from if it wasn't something taught to me outright? I firmly believe it is because I never saw it done before. I knew of women evangelists, worship leaders, missionaries, and kids pastors. My youth pastor was a woman. I never was exposed to a female senior pastor or in executive leadership. That vacuum exists still to this day. Those who are prominent features at conferences, retreats, councils, and serve in leadership by in large are men. We need more women being made visible in these contexts, not for the sake of equality, rather for the sake of showing the way.

The way I have overcome this obstacle is clinging to relationship with the female lead pastors that I do meet. I am now in a life-long covenant relationship with four other female lead pastors. We stay connect consistently, retreat together, and encourage one another in life and ministry. I also have chosen to be an example to other women. I intentionally share my experiences with transparency every opportunity that is feasible for my family and life. I may not have an easily visibly woman to model my ministry development after, but I will certainly live with an approachability and transparent vulnerability that will enable other women to have an example to learn from (successes and failures.)

PAUL: 3. Our culture today has been characterized as a sex-crazed, sexually motivated generation. Even top corporate brands like Axe and GoDaddy use what's called sex-marketing. From your perspective, how can Christian women raise their voices against such practices and avoid being caught in the swift current of always having to look "sexy" to please the culture while in many instances compromising their own walk in the fear of the Lord?

JENNIFER: The most powerful voice a woman has, especially in relation to society's sex drive, is to simply be counter-cultural. Wear clothes that are modest, yet trendy. There is not a need to sacrifice style for the sake of modesty. You can honor God and still look great! When you are among other people, shopping, watching television, etc voice when something is lacking modesty. Voicing your dislike is not a free-pass to be a mean girl. Voice your preference, not your arrogance. Carry yourself and respect yourself and others in such a way that causes others to take notice and WANT to be more honoring of themselves and others as well. I think we do harm when we voice our dislike in a spiritual manner. Modesty absolutely is a spiritual act of honoring God. But to the one who does not know God, it sounds restrictive. Instead, modesty is about self-respect. Modesty has the power to decrease discrimination, sexual abuse, lack of equality, sexualization of women, sexual harassment, pornography, adultery,  teen pregnancy, abortion, rape, molestation...the list can go on and on. If women AND men would choose self-respect by modesty then the attitude of society toward gender would heal in significant ways.
  I think it is important to note that men need to be equally as mindful about modesty as women. Men are sexualized constantly. Women lust too. Women struggle with pornography too...50 Shades of Grey has proven that (although romance novels have been around for ages). Too often the church has taken a stance on this sexual craze in society that says it is the woman's fault for mens struggle. I think it is time brothers and sisters in Christ start taking responsibility for their own choices, as well as taking responsibility for honoring and respecting one another. Another thought on this topic. We are living in a time where society's perspective of sex is in a dramatic shift. Homosexuality is no longer embraced by the majority of Americans as taboo, but acceptable. Modesty must be pursued by both men and women in all places and times, being mindful of both men and women. A woman choosing modesty is living in a way that guards their safety and respect, as well as guards the hearts and minds of other men and women. A man choosing modesty is living in a way that guards his safety and respect, as well as guards the hearts and minds of other men and women.

PAUL: 4. Jennifer, I have personally seen abused women who shared stories of physical beatings, rape, gang rape, emotional abuse from husbands, and even marital rape around the world and the effect healing has when the Holy Spirit unties and heals years of pain and torment. Women seldom talk about the abuse they went through especially if it has been or is being done in Christian homes. What counsel would you share with women struggling to share the pain in years past or even recent memories?

JENNIFER: Find a safe spiritual family who is trustworthy. Be transparent with the Pastoral couple of your church. Healing begins by confessing sins that have been done. This doesn't mean you have sinned, it means you are confessing the sins that have been done toward you. That darkness that has blanketed your heart and soul must be pulled back in the light of Jesus' mercy and grace. Only you can let that light in, and you need a safe supportive family to be by your side as you courageously allow the Holy Spirit in to those hidden hells. Let your Pastors care for you, and seek professional help as well. It takes a brave person to admit when they need help. Pastor's can spiritually lead you. A licensed counselor can psychologically help you heal. A safe spiritual family can support you through the ups and downs that are guaranteed as you confront your past so that God can bless you with a free and blessed future in Him.

PAUL: 5. Who have been key folks in your life that have greatly encouraged you in your ministry and even personally? How did that make you feel?

JENNIFER: First and foremost is my husband, Andy McAfee. He has been absolutely supportive in every way imaginable. He knows my weaknesses and still believes there is nothing that I am not able to do in Christ. He sees God's call on my life, he affirms God's anointing that rests on me, and he supports my obedience to God. I am so thankful that God blessed me with such a secure and strong man of God. My parents, Tom and Emily Alderman, and my in-laws, Richard and Jina McAfee, are constantly encouraging me in ministry and life. My lifelong sisters - Preacher Girls Rachel Ross, Kathy Cannon, Leila Ojela, and Korista Lewis. I am so thankful for such supportive District Leadership here in North Texas. Pastors Rick Dubose, Gaylan Claunch, David Henry, Nova Pittman, and Mike Harper have been such an incredible source of encouragement. The Northeast Fort Worth Section is full of men and women who have been an incredible source of blessing and support, and it is such an honor to serve alongside Presbyter Roger Lewis and fellow committee-persons Randy Sheridan, Jeff Strickland, David Freeman, and Ken Harris. Pastor Rod Loy, Pastor Scott Wilson, Pastor George O. Wood, Pastor Doug Clay, Pastor Ron Hawkins, Dr. Hardin, Dr. Hayes, Dr. Bartel, Dr. Hester, Steve Pike, John Jay Wilson, John Davidson, Jason and Renee Exley, John and Gwen Miller, Mary Beadles...I could write page upon page the names of all the people who have been such a powerful source of encouragement and blessing to me in ministry and life. I am truly blessed beyond measure, and definitely beyond what I deserve.

PAUL: 6. What have you noticed and see great hope for in the millennial generation?

JENNIFER: Courage to demand truth, justice, love, and transparency. By and large the millennial generation cares more about relationship and the family unit than the appearance of success. This generation will not just jump, they want to know exactly what they are jumping into, and when they do finally jump it is with absolute loyalty and commitment. Those are the makings of the greatest disciple-making generation this world has ever encountered!

Jennifer

PAUL: 7. As a mom, pastor, wife, and friend when and how do you find time to relax and collect your thoughts and hear from the Lord? Also, what helps you stay motivated to do what you do?

JENNIFER: First of all, I have to confess that I am TERRIBLE at relaxing. I am in a season of learning how to rest and discover what I enjoy outside of the work of the ministry. I absolutely LOVE the work of the ministry, and so I tend to just keep on keeping on. I am learning that this is not healthy. I need to have a place of relaxation, rest, and reprieve to quiet my heart and rejuvenate my soul. This fall I have made it my mission to make my home a sanctuary, a place of comfort and tranquility. As one who works from home, it has not been this. This week I rearranged the house in such a way that it carries a calm and intimate feeling. This has been a wonderful change for me. I now can sit in my home while my daughter naps, and by lamp light sit in my comfy chair and simply breath and rest in the presence of God. I keep the television off, no music, no computers, the phone on silent, and I just sit and mentally talk to God. I always make it a point to acknowledge God and that this is our time. Sometimes, after this acknowledgement, I just rest in his presence. I have NEVER been able to do this before! For the first time in my entire memory of life I can actually sit and not have a million thoughts flooding my brain. I believe that many people struggle with this. We live in a digital era where communication and productivity are available at a touch of a button. I believe we tend to live in sensory overload. We are so great at multitasking life that we miss out on living life with Christ. I am learning how to do that. This time is so precious to me, but it isn't my only time with God. In fact, I don't get to spend this kind of rest in Him every day. It usually occurs once ever three days or so. Every morning I wake up, and before I do anything else I spend time in the word - reading scripture, journaling what I observe God doing in that Scripture, journaling what I should apply to my life from that Scripture, and journaling my conversation with God in light of that Scripture. This week I am beginning to do this with 4 chapters a morning. I can't go a day without this time. It is my breakfast of champions!

I desperately need this time with God. Ministry is so hard. Often I feel all eyes on me. There are times where I sense that people are watching and wondering if this can really work, a woman leading a church. I feel this pressure to be an example to other women. I feel like at any moment I could drop it all and leave a legacy of failure. Now, I know that some of those feelings are straight up a lie from the enemy. Some of those feelings are true and real, but not for me to spend time and energy fixating on. Some of those feelings don't matter at all. It is easy to start drowning in all the emotions and awareness of it all. There are days where I am doing all I can to just keep my head above water. There are days that I just want to quit, not because things are so bad but because I don't know why God chose me. Sometimes in the midst of it all I imagine what it would be like to live a normal life that blends in. "I can go to a church, be a godly wife, be a godly mom, teach a Sunday School Class." That would be a life changing existence that leaves a powerful legacy and blends in with perfect acceptability. My mom and mother-in-law taught me well by living this powerful world-changing example for me out loud. The problem with me following in their footsteps is that is not the future God built me to live. God shaped me to lead. God shaped me to forge into the dangerous wilderness to make it a smoother journey for those who are coming behind me. God created me for a challenging and adventurous life and ministry. The problem with the "normal" life is that it is not normal for me. God created me for difficulty. If life and ministry wasn't and adverse reality, I would be terribly bored and out of my element. Some boats are made for rowing, some for tugging, some for carrying, some for cruising, some for speeding, and some for weathering the storms. I am a stormy ship. Recently God has been incredibly mindful in encouraging me in my call, through MANY unrelated sources. The message has been the same...my life is a pearl of great price, clarifying a crown for eternity rather than present, and measured by a success that humanity cannot understand but only the Holy Spirit reveals. 

What motivates me to do what I do is knowing that what I do - this life I lead - is what I was built, shaped, created, and purposefully engineered to do and be. If I did anything else I would be lost because it isn't the life I was called, ordained, anointed, and appointed to live. The ease of being something else would be the weight of losing who I am created to be. This statement by Paul in Philippians 1:20-21 best states what motivates me to keep obeying the call of Christ,

" ²⁰ I expect and hope that I will not ·fail Christ in [^Lbe ashamed about] anything but that I will have the ·courage [boldness] now, as always, ·to show the greatness of Christ [or so that Christ will be exalted] in my ·life here on earth [^Lbody], whether I live or die. ²¹ [^LFor] To me ·the only important thing about living [^Lto live] is Christ, and ·dying would be profit for me [^Lto die is gain/profit]."

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17 Definitive Practices We MUST Crucify

Apostle Paul teaches us in Galatians 5:19-21, a list of 17 practices we must all crucify. (I will be using the New King James Version for each word. It may vary depending on your translation.) 

1. Adultery- {μοιχεία-moicheia}- Loving another person in a sexual and lustful way who you are not committed to in the union of marriage. Crucify it!

2. Fornication- {πορνεία-porneia}-Perverted sexual practices such as lesbianism, homosexuality, intercourse with animals, sex with close relatives, sexual relations with a divorced man or woman, adultery. It has the root word where we get our word 'pornography' from today. Yes, all forms of porn. Crucify it!

3. Uncleanness-{ἀκαθαρσία-akatharsia}-This refers to the moral ways we conduct our life such as the impurity of lustful luxurious, shameless living, extravagant, in partnership with wrong motives. In a nutshell, if you spend your income to impress others buying expensive merchandise, highlight your luxurious life, or spend your finances to be in competition with your peers-Apostle Paul says, STOP IT! Crucify it!

4. Lewdness/Lasciviousness-{ἀσέλγεια-aselgeia}-unbridled lust, shamelessness, excess. Living with no boundaries and with no shame or guilt concerning everything you do. Its a term used to describe a person who in our generation would show his middle finger to all correction or advise. Crucify it!

5. Idolatry-{εἰδωλολατρία-eidōlolatria}- the worship of false gods. Whatever represents the form of an object, either real or imaginary. Also, tied together to this term is the worship of Mammon. To clarify, it was used to describe people who had multiple streams of resources coming into their income and they would use that acquired wealth to fund campaigns against any holy commandment or statue. Crucify it! Does this remind you of our generation?

6. Sorcery/Witchcraft-{φαρμακεία-pharmakeia}- the use or the administering of drugs, magical arts, horoscope readings. As you see its root word is the word where we get 'Pharmacy". Its the mixing of drugs for the purpose of controlling someone's mind, body, and emotions. Mostly, it refers to drug intake and having like a spell cast on you with a chained addiction. Crucify it!

7. Hatred-{ἔχθρα-echthra}- The feeling of enmity, ill-will, bad blood, unfriendliness. Its the picture example of venom. For example, if you had the opportunity to shoot venom directly into whoever you hate you would do it immediately. Crucify it!

8.Contentions/Variances-{ἔρις-eris}- strife, bickering, controversy, wrangling(wrestling), vigorous or bitter conflict of words. Do you enjoy bringing up controversy? Do you 'wrestle' with people on division of words? Do you accuse your loved one of 'saying' this or that? If you had the chance to literary wrestle someone to the ground this is the term implied here. Crucify it!

9. Jealousies/Emulations-{ζῆλος-zēlos}- punitive zeal, an envious and contentious or bitter rivalry. Desiring and putting measurable steps to become better than another person for the sole purpose of degrading them to highlight yourself. Crucify it!

10. Outburst of Wrath-{θυμός-thymos}- angry passion, anger boiling up and soon subsiding again. Think of a tea kettle. As it heats up it screams out loud once the water is boiling and the steam profusely rising and as soon as you take off the heat it calms down again. The only problem is that it does the same thing over and over and over and over again. Crucify it! 

11. Selfish Ambitions/Strife-{ἐριθεία-eritheia}- a desire to put yourself forward, partisanship, one way thinking only. Are you always telling people how right you are and never hearing their views? Crucify it! 

12. Dissensions/Sedition-{διχοστασία-dichostasia}-Strong and divisive disagreements. They cause splits and separations in relationships, partnerships, and unions. Crucify it! 

13. Heresies-{αἵρεσις-hairesis}- The act of capturing or storming a group of people with a diversity of opinions and personal principles. Its the picture word for a group of militia men capturing a city by force and subduing the captors. This is done in the realm of our mind. Crucify it! 

14. Envy-{φθόνος-phthonos}- When you are prompted by envy to do something. Envy is the motive behind your actions. For example, Philippians 1:15, "Some indeed preach Christ even from envy and strife, and some also from goodwill." Are you a person who begins to preach, get involved in ministry, start a business, higher your education on account that someone else is doing it with success and it eats you up inside? So you decide to get involved in those things from the motive of envy. Crucify it!

15. Murders-{φόνος-phonos}- the brutal or violent killing of a physical person. Crucify it! 

16. Drunkenness-{μέθη-methē}- A person given to intoxication of strong liquor or wine. Crucify it!

17. Revelries-{κῶμος-kōmos}- a nocturnal and riotous procession of half drunken and frolicsome fellows who after supper parade through the streets with torches and music in honor of Bacchus or some other deity, and sing and play before houses of male and female friends; thus used generally of feasts and drinking parties that are protracted till late at night. So in our normal language it means this: drunken people who party into the night and are more given to being controlled by parties, drinking, and debauchery then holy living. Crucify it!

If you have examined your own heart and found these practices residing in you there is hope. The Bible says in 1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.". We must not only preach grace but truth with balance. Let these practices be eradicated by the forgiveness found in the precious cleansing blood of Jesus Christ. Seek to practice holiness. 

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