The Internal Enemy of Women: Comparison

Most women do not struggle with looking lustfully upon men's bodies. The way the eye of women usually works has largely to do with COMPARISONS.

Comparison: 

• to examine (two or more objects, ideas, people, etc.) in order to note similarities and differences
• to appear in a similar standing
• to differ in quality or accomplishment as specified
• to rival   

Comparing Each Other

Women tend to look at other women and compare themselves. They try to be attractive to men, but they sometimes measure their attractiveness by comparing themselves to the appearance of other women. Sometimes they will survey the group until their eyes land on the woman they consider most attractive, and then the comparisons begin.... (Summary text taken from A Covenant with My Eyes, pg 117)

Catering to the desire of women to recover their youthfulness, entire industries have arisen that enable women to undergo a host of medical procedures to enhance their attractiveness. Our culture doesnt give women the permission to age. Something that should be celebrated (the regal beauty of a woman's crowning years) is turned into competition to try to look seventeen again. (Summary text taken from A Covenant with My Eyes, pg 120)

As men we tend to quickly dismiss the waves of emotions that go though our wives, mothers, and sisters not understanding an enemy internally in them that is trying to dismantle their self-image, value and worth-this enemy is called Comparison. It happens to pastors wives, to stay-at-home moms, to business women, to nurses, to teachers, to care-givers all over the world. As much as women try to understand the internal pressures and struggles in sexual temptations for men, we as men, must do the same with greater compassion for the women in our lives. For our wives, our mothers, our sisters and ladies around the world who desperately need to know they are valued, protected, and honored.

 Here Are 5 Ways For Women to Combat the Battle of Comparing

Walk in Freedom!

Yourself: 

1. Receive God's Affection! You were created by God and in His image. He affirms you as a beautiful daughter of the King! Walk in majestic beauty knowing your heavenly Father absolutely loves you!

2. Forgive your Dad! The father gives the identity to the children. As much as we have fatherless sons, we have more fatherless daughters. Without affection from their Dad, without loving embraces, without words of affirmation, daughters begin to question their self-worth. Am I beautiful enough? Is something wrong with me? Am I a good daughter? Cutoff the enemy's stronghold and forgive your father for not embracing you, not affirming you, not loving you with emotion when you needed it most. Healing brings joy.

3. Confess Your Struggle! The Bible says in James 5:16, "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." Let your husband know your struggle. How you feel ugly, how you compared yourself to another woman, how you desired to be more attractive like "that" girl. If you are single, share with a spiritual mother and pray together. Don't live in comparisons live in freedom!

4. Spend time with godly women! The more time you spend with women who are humble, meek, modest, and Spirit-led the more you will have a desire to please the Lord instead of posting more "selfies" on social media. Proverbs 13:20, "Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm."

5. Volunteer/Serve! As men tend to find themselves trapped in porn when they are alone, lonely, or in depression so women need to understand that constantly viewing pictures of other women, their families, their lifestyles, for hours a day obviously will cause comparison to arise internally. Cut-it off by doing good. Volunteer more at church, serve at local non-profits, visit elderly, create care packages for those in need. When we shift focus from me to the those in need we become blessed stewards of the time God gives us.

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Celebrating Leadership Gifts in Women

"Preach it Sister! We encourage your voice and position of influence! Do great things for God by His Holy Spirit! We stand with you! We rally around you to celebrate what God is doing in you!"...These should be the statements of encouragement we should be shouting to our dear sisters in Christ. Somehow we have seen more voices like, "Sit down, your not allowed to preach! Women must be silent in the church! You have no authority to speak! Your task is to be home with the kids! You can only support your husband! Cook, clean, stay home, that is your purpose in life!" As the body of Christ, we must see EVERY member valuable, honorable, and functional for the glory of God. Then the question is raised, Why should we celebrate leadership gifts in women?

1. God gave EQUAL responsibility, authority, and promotion. 
Many take passages out of context to create theology based on what they grew up to be true and have never examined or questioned the scriptural basis of women in leadership roles. Jesus Christ broke the chauvinistic domineering curse over women at the cross. In Genesis 3:16 the second part of the verse it says this, "Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you." This was said as a curse for disobeying God's commandment to not eat any of the fruit. However, this curse's price was paid in FULL at the cross and restoration was brought back to the original design. The design to have male and female as co-equals working in the fields for the Lord. Women have the full authority, responsibility, and God's kiss of promotion to go and win souls. And yes that means they can publicly preach, sing, worship, lead a church, lead Bible studies, create sermon series, lead seminars. Say these words.."I celebrate godly women leaders!" 

2. Women are more generous in financial giving.
Some men maybe saying, whoa whoa whoa hold on there. But let me shed some light or perhaps let me ask you some questions. Who were one of the first financial supporters of Jesus' ministry? Who was the one that helped start a church in Philippi because she opened her home? Who had more passion during the times of Jesus' ministry? Who poured out more than a year's worth of salary onto Jesus' feet? Yes, it was women. We cannot deny the fact that women love to give and support not only Christian causes but community causes too. I recently had a breakfast meeting with a prominent women in our city of Jacksonville, FL. We sipped coffee at Starbucks and she shared an interesting study she came across recently. The study said that as more women CEO's, VP's, Presidents', Executive Directors get positioned into those roles the higher the giving to the local community outreaches and nonprofits go up. Also the trend stated that as women leaders are replaced with men in the corporate world less community giving is tracked. For men tend to spend on their personal wants, like high priced vehicles, houses, vacations, on and on. Boy toys you can say. If we as men decry the notion of feeble giving in our churches and missions organizations perhaps we should let women ministers attend our board meetings and financial committees? (And all the women said amen!) 

3. Compassion vs. Strategy is advanced 
We love the gift of visionary strategy that advances a church, a missions organization or an international ministry. Yet, Jesus called us to reach the lost with compassion. We cannot deny that we need vision and strong leadership but I cannot find in the Bible a quote where it says, "Peter be a strong leader! or "John stop hugging me already, where are the business plan models for growth of disciples?" Jesus walked with great compassion and humility while on earth. There is no doubt that women have a more tender, compassionate, loving, and gentle heart. However, that does not mean they are not strong enough or bold enough to lead congregations or ministries into the will of God. This world is suffocating from a drought of pure compassion. We need more compassionate hearts in leadership roles. Women can teach us much about this! 

4. Men are NOT enough to advance the kingdom 
Jesus used the Samaritan woman at the well to preach to her village and call the men and women to meet Jesus. Deborah in the book of Judges was a leader of the Israelite's and led them to victory. Esther was given a queen's position to influence law and order for the Jewish nation. When the Holy Spirit was poured out in the upper room, it was in full measure given to men and women equally. We must understand that women must be encouraged and given the platform and opportunity to develop their leadership giftings in the body of Christ. My heart cries for the many women young and old who feel tormented inside for being discriminated and neglected in being able to serve in the body of Christ fully. Dear sister, we NEED You! 

5. Healing Flows from Broken Strongholds 
Religion loves to take hold and never let go. Religion loves control but the Holy Spirit loves liberty! We must give the command over to the moving of the Holy Spirit to reach this world. Having recently visited Romania and Hungary a few weeks ago, I can personally tell you that Jesus through the Holy Spirit is equipping thousands of ready and willing women's hearts. When we as men can be humble enough to break tradition, culture, and religion to take our sisters hands and work together a healing flow of anointing begins to work in us all. We as men need to pray fervently for the Lord to break the yokes still set over many women leaders who have had much ridicule and wounds from pursuing the call of God in their lives. As men, instead of throwing stones, lets shield our sisters from the stones. Its time we stand up as men and not only protect our sisters financially and physically but we create a wall of fortified protection over those dear sisters, who are called to preach publicly, called to lead churches, called to be international evangelists, called to do radical things for Jesus Christ. I am one that stands with my sisters in Christ and say I am with you. Let's bring healing not only to this sin-filled world but more so to the body of Christ for all the self-inflicted wounds. Come Holy Spirit and heal! 

Heartfelt Forgiveness to ALL WOMEN LEADERS today: 

I want to close and feel pressed to make a public apology on behalf of men to all my dear sisters in Christ who have been marginalized, discounted, abused, neglected, mistreated, hurt, wounded, offended, discriminated against, rejected, or in anyway looked down upon for being born a women and having leadership gifts in you. I pray healing will begin here and right now and that the Holy Spirit will launch and raise you up into what God has called you to do! 

Please forgive men, including myself, if we have not seen the treasure inside you. Forgive us for being chauvinistic and not kind. Forgive us for not building you up but in wounding you. Forgive us for blocking your rightful position in the ministry. Forgive us for causing emotional and spiritual pain to linger so long and never receiving an apology. I ask for your forgiveness for all men for the way we have treated you in church. Forgive us for dishonoring your leadership gifts and not giving you a position of influence. I ask for the binding unity of the Holy Spirit to heal your heart with the love of Jesus Christ right now. I pray for you dear sister right now! I pray you walk with your head up high, your arms high to the sky and your heart full of joy for the calling God has given you. I pray you give new strength to my dear sisters who have been deeply confused and rejected in their culture and did not find any help or support from us as men. Dear Lord, minister to the deepest part of their soul and heart and bring reconciliation back into your people so we can walk hand in hand winning one soul at a time together. I see Lord a women who is reading this and is shedding tears for the pain she has endured. I pray healing over this women dear Lord. I pray she finds renewal in these words of reconciliation and put her into the proper position of preaching your Word! 

I CELEBRATE WOMEN LEADERS AND ALL YOUR GIFTINGS THE LORD HAS GIVEN YOU!

Twitter: @PaulMuzichuk

Pornography for Women: 50 Shades of Grey

If we as Christians stay silent to social, ethical, moral, religious, and even political issues in our time then all boundaries of faith, purity, and righteousness will be washed away and forgotten for generations to come. We must not only preach salvation and faith but purity and consecration too. Our task at hand is to awaken slumbering believers to realize the dangers of spiritual apathy and the agony of sin it causes in ones life. One specific area I want to address is a series of books that have been circulating in Christian homes, specifically women's hands. It's a book series called 50 Shades of Grey.

According to the books publisher, Random House, they say, " it sold 70 million copies of the trilogy between the series' March 2012 debut in the US and December of that year. That figure includes print copies, audio books, and e-books sold in English, Spanish, and German." What's even more astonishing is that in a recent article by the Christian Science Monitor they state, "Random House recently revealed its sales figures for the series – a number high enough to boost the publisher’s operating earnings (before taxes and interest) by 75 percent." This is one of the fastest selling trilogy books ever published and keeps growing in sales exponentially. We must stop and ask the question, why is that? Why would women, liberal and conservative, Christian and unbelievers, from all different nations continue to flock to this series? Could the lure be that of a deep longing sexual fantasy that still lingers inside the hearts? 

Pastor and 30 year veteran of social work and christian counseling, Mark Peters, shares his viewpoint on this subject: "Porn for women starts more from an emotional point.  The guy in the movies is cute, seems like he would treat a women right, what a women is looking for in a man.  This is still fantasy and lust...  She may not be looking at his genitalia...but she most definitively is desiring him to take her away as Prince "Porn" Charming - the result would be sex.  Especially true of most of Hollywood movies - sex follows the attraction...  He has something her man does not: looks, body, talk, charm....interesting....it is still physical, all awhile starting in the emotions.  Remember Jesus said if we look after "woman[man]" to lust we have committed adultery." 
We are dealing with an epidemic of sexual perversion, elevated sexual fantasies, and a deterioration of righteous boundaries for purity. If we as the Church of Jesus Christ sweep issues under the rug we will come to find out the toxic effects of sexual sin and its practices. The first particular book deals with 50 different sexual positions the couple involve themselves to receive the highest pleasure and satisfaction. Thus, the title for the book '50 Shades of Grey'. 

More and more I hear discussions on the popularity of this book among Christian circles and even on a few occasions have seen this book inside the homes of Christian families. What continues to strike me with shock is how believers continue to approve, distribute, and even not see a problem with this type of writing. We must find ways to consecrate our minds and purify our hearts from the lures of the world. Jesus Christ did not die on the cross so we can continue to live willfully in sin, but He paid the price for our sin and gives us freedom from the stronghold of sin. Our hope is not in a sexual fantasy that degrades our mind, soul, and relationships but in the power of Jesus Christ and His love. 

Have you seen your friends, family, or peers reading this book? Have YOU personally read this book? 

Our assignment is not to condemn the world but to be free from it. We have no desire to bash those who rebel against the laws of purity but we do have a command to speak the gospel of truth. Our generation must have the willingness to fight against the Goliath of pornography in every form. Take heed friend that this is not reading material for the lover of Jesus Christ. This is a trap that entangles your heart and brings rebellion towards your spouse who will never fit the mold of the 'perfect sexual man' but will continue to divide until all is lost and destroyed.

Much Christian based warnings against porn has been geared towards men which is appropriate due to men's natural tendency towards sexual release. However, women have been entangled in this web of lies and deceit as well and both male and female need the cleansing blood of Jesus Christ. I have learned in talking with many who have struggled with sexual sin that it takes accountability, perseverance  and most importantly a complete fruit of repentance change. We can all say a sinners prayer but will we allow the Holy Spirit to start changing and cleaning areas in our life that have been tormented by sin. Choose God's love and God's desire to make you whole emotionally. God still loves you!

"For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;" 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5