iAsk: Lead Pastor Jennifer McAfee of Villages Community Church

Every Monday I will be posting new interviews with Christian leaders to find in-depth counsel on issues such as ministry, family, careers, politics, finance, and theology. Today's interview is with Assembly of God Lead Pastor of Villages Community Church in Fort Worth, Texas Jennifer McAcfee.
 

Lead Pastor-Jennifer McAfee

PAUL: First if you can give a small summary of who you are, what you do and what is your greatest passion in life?

JENNIFER: I am a wife to an incredible man of God who works as a Lead Software Quality Assurance Tester. We celebrated our 6 year wedding anniversary a few weeks ago, and have an amazing 2 year old daughter. I am the lead pastor of a new church plant in Northeast Fort Worth, Villages Community Church. I also serve on the Northeast Fort Worth Section Committee as the Secretariat. I am passionate about seeing God in every moment, hearing God's direction, correction, and instruction, and courageously obeying Him at all costs. I love building the local church, encouraging ministers, and cultivating leadership.

PAUL: 1. Jennifer, share with me the lessons you have personally learned that may help emerging Christian women leaders from your story of you becoming a Lead Pastor in a local church? As you know, women in high ranking leadership roles both in the secular world and in the religious circles have been given little if any encouragement to pursue callings of leadership. 

JENNIFER: What comes to mind is stop worrying about what other people say and think. There will be a lot of people for you and a lot of people not for you. Those who are opposed will be the loudest in your ears, foremost in your thoughts, and heaviest on your heart. You have to operate on a level of self-control that many do not. Rather than allowing these discouragements to control you, you must control them with peaceful mind of Christ. Rather than fixating on opposition, surround yourself with a stellar support system of both women and men of God. I am learning that I will receive as much encouragement as I am willing to discover. 
  
 As a woman called to ministry, you will be hard pressed to find the same opportunities in mentoring, relationship, and visibility as men in ministry. I have learned that I can't wait for those opportunities to appear, rather I have to seek them out. I have grown a thick skin, enabling me to ask and see. You have to be able to stomach rejection and let it go rather than holding on to it and being bitter. Are you willing to engage a mentoring relationship that is less formal? Read books, ask to sit in on meetings a couple times a year, always have three questions prepared to ask, etc. There was a time I sat around waiting for opportunity and encouragement to come to me. It was lonely. It was depressing. It was a distraction from the mission of Christ to be working through me. When God called me to step out and plant a church, He also gave me key correction in how to engage leaders in my life, and my life has never been the same. God said, "Jennifer, I have called you to love, encourage, and support your leaders. Do that and let me do the rest." It was the absolute most liberating choice of obedience I have ever made. I saw God transform people's hearts, minds, and perspectives not by my persuasion, but by His transformation alone. 
  
Now I feel absolutely encouraged, loved, and supported. Why? Because I have chosen to surround myself with the leaders God has called me to encourage, love, and support. I do not seek formal mentoring from them, rather I choose to allow them to shape my life as I encourage, love, and support them. It is mentoring on my terms, in a manner that isn't about what I get from them, but in a manner led by how I can offer honor, service, and unconditional love.

PAUL: 2. What do you feel is the most significant barrier to female Christian leadership? and as a follow up...how did you personally overcome such obstacles?

JENNIFER: We need visible examples to follow. There is an incredible void of opportunity when it comes to women leaders being visible. The value of this visibility isn't equality, recognition, or prestige. High level visibility of women serving in lead pastoral roles is important so that other women can see that it is and can be done. Prior to God radically calling me to plant churches, being a lead pastor was never on my radar. 

 I grew up with my Dad sitting me on his knee and whispering in my ear, "You can do and be anything God tells you to do and be." Yet somewhere along the way I internalized a belief that there were certain things God only used men to do, and leadership was one of those things. Where did this belief come from? I was not raised to believe that. I received a call to ministry at a young age. I am the oldest of five children. I have always been a leader in every context I have ever been in since I was a child. Yet leading in ministry never crossed my mind. I assumed I would be a pastor's wife. When I graduated SAGU unmarried and absolutely single, I sought out positions in children's ministry and worship, because that is what a woman could do. 

Where did this mindset come from if it wasn't something taught to me outright? I firmly believe it is because I never saw it done before. I knew of women evangelists, worship leaders, missionaries, and kids pastors. My youth pastor was a woman. I never was exposed to a female senior pastor or in executive leadership. That vacuum exists still to this day. Those who are prominent features at conferences, retreats, councils, and serve in leadership by in large are men. We need more women being made visible in these contexts, not for the sake of equality, rather for the sake of showing the way.

The way I have overcome this obstacle is clinging to relationship with the female lead pastors that I do meet. I am now in a life-long covenant relationship with four other female lead pastors. We stay connect consistently, retreat together, and encourage one another in life and ministry. I also have chosen to be an example to other women. I intentionally share my experiences with transparency every opportunity that is feasible for my family and life. I may not have an easily visibly woman to model my ministry development after, but I will certainly live with an approachability and transparent vulnerability that will enable other women to have an example to learn from (successes and failures.)

PAUL: 3. Our culture today has been characterized as a sex-crazed, sexually motivated generation. Even top corporate brands like Axe and GoDaddy use what's called sex-marketing. From your perspective, how can Christian women raise their voices against such practices and avoid being caught in the swift current of always having to look "sexy" to please the culture while in many instances compromising their own walk in the fear of the Lord?

JENNIFER: The most powerful voice a woman has, especially in relation to society's sex drive, is to simply be counter-cultural. Wear clothes that are modest, yet trendy. There is not a need to sacrifice style for the sake of modesty. You can honor God and still look great! When you are among other people, shopping, watching television, etc voice when something is lacking modesty. Voicing your dislike is not a free-pass to be a mean girl. Voice your preference, not your arrogance. Carry yourself and respect yourself and others in such a way that causes others to take notice and WANT to be more honoring of themselves and others as well. I think we do harm when we voice our dislike in a spiritual manner. Modesty absolutely is a spiritual act of honoring God. But to the one who does not know God, it sounds restrictive. Instead, modesty is about self-respect. Modesty has the power to decrease discrimination, sexual abuse, lack of equality, sexualization of women, sexual harassment, pornography, adultery,  teen pregnancy, abortion, rape, molestation...the list can go on and on. If women AND men would choose self-respect by modesty then the attitude of society toward gender would heal in significant ways.
  I think it is important to note that men need to be equally as mindful about modesty as women. Men are sexualized constantly. Women lust too. Women struggle with pornography too...50 Shades of Grey has proven that (although romance novels have been around for ages). Too often the church has taken a stance on this sexual craze in society that says it is the woman's fault for mens struggle. I think it is time brothers and sisters in Christ start taking responsibility for their own choices, as well as taking responsibility for honoring and respecting one another. Another thought on this topic. We are living in a time where society's perspective of sex is in a dramatic shift. Homosexuality is no longer embraced by the majority of Americans as taboo, but acceptable. Modesty must be pursued by both men and women in all places and times, being mindful of both men and women. A woman choosing modesty is living in a way that guards their safety and respect, as well as guards the hearts and minds of other men and women. A man choosing modesty is living in a way that guards his safety and respect, as well as guards the hearts and minds of other men and women.

PAUL: 4. Jennifer, I have personally seen abused women who shared stories of physical beatings, rape, gang rape, emotional abuse from husbands, and even marital rape around the world and the effect healing has when the Holy Spirit unties and heals years of pain and torment. Women seldom talk about the abuse they went through especially if it has been or is being done in Christian homes. What counsel would you share with women struggling to share the pain in years past or even recent memories?

JENNIFER: Find a safe spiritual family who is trustworthy. Be transparent with the Pastoral couple of your church. Healing begins by confessing sins that have been done. This doesn't mean you have sinned, it means you are confessing the sins that have been done toward you. That darkness that has blanketed your heart and soul must be pulled back in the light of Jesus' mercy and grace. Only you can let that light in, and you need a safe supportive family to be by your side as you courageously allow the Holy Spirit in to those hidden hells. Let your Pastors care for you, and seek professional help as well. It takes a brave person to admit when they need help. Pastor's can spiritually lead you. A licensed counselor can psychologically help you heal. A safe spiritual family can support you through the ups and downs that are guaranteed as you confront your past so that God can bless you with a free and blessed future in Him.

PAUL: 5. Who have been key folks in your life that have greatly encouraged you in your ministry and even personally? How did that make you feel?

JENNIFER: First and foremost is my husband, Andy McAfee. He has been absolutely supportive in every way imaginable. He knows my weaknesses and still believes there is nothing that I am not able to do in Christ. He sees God's call on my life, he affirms God's anointing that rests on me, and he supports my obedience to God. I am so thankful that God blessed me with such a secure and strong man of God. My parents, Tom and Emily Alderman, and my in-laws, Richard and Jina McAfee, are constantly encouraging me in ministry and life. My lifelong sisters - Preacher Girls Rachel Ross, Kathy Cannon, Leila Ojela, and Korista Lewis. I am so thankful for such supportive District Leadership here in North Texas. Pastors Rick Dubose, Gaylan Claunch, David Henry, Nova Pittman, and Mike Harper have been such an incredible source of encouragement. The Northeast Fort Worth Section is full of men and women who have been an incredible source of blessing and support, and it is such an honor to serve alongside Presbyter Roger Lewis and fellow committee-persons Randy Sheridan, Jeff Strickland, David Freeman, and Ken Harris. Pastor Rod Loy, Pastor Scott Wilson, Pastor George O. Wood, Pastor Doug Clay, Pastor Ron Hawkins, Dr. Hardin, Dr. Hayes, Dr. Bartel, Dr. Hester, Steve Pike, John Jay Wilson, John Davidson, Jason and Renee Exley, John and Gwen Miller, Mary Beadles...I could write page upon page the names of all the people who have been such a powerful source of encouragement and blessing to me in ministry and life. I am truly blessed beyond measure, and definitely beyond what I deserve.

PAUL: 6. What have you noticed and see great hope for in the millennial generation?

JENNIFER: Courage to demand truth, justice, love, and transparency. By and large the millennial generation cares more about relationship and the family unit than the appearance of success. This generation will not just jump, they want to know exactly what they are jumping into, and when they do finally jump it is with absolute loyalty and commitment. Those are the makings of the greatest disciple-making generation this world has ever encountered!

Jennifer

PAUL: 7. As a mom, pastor, wife, and friend when and how do you find time to relax and collect your thoughts and hear from the Lord? Also, what helps you stay motivated to do what you do?

JENNIFER: First of all, I have to confess that I am TERRIBLE at relaxing. I am in a season of learning how to rest and discover what I enjoy outside of the work of the ministry. I absolutely LOVE the work of the ministry, and so I tend to just keep on keeping on. I am learning that this is not healthy. I need to have a place of relaxation, rest, and reprieve to quiet my heart and rejuvenate my soul. This fall I have made it my mission to make my home a sanctuary, a place of comfort and tranquility. As one who works from home, it has not been this. This week I rearranged the house in such a way that it carries a calm and intimate feeling. This has been a wonderful change for me. I now can sit in my home while my daughter naps, and by lamp light sit in my comfy chair and simply breath and rest in the presence of God. I keep the television off, no music, no computers, the phone on silent, and I just sit and mentally talk to God. I always make it a point to acknowledge God and that this is our time. Sometimes, after this acknowledgement, I just rest in his presence. I have NEVER been able to do this before! For the first time in my entire memory of life I can actually sit and not have a million thoughts flooding my brain. I believe that many people struggle with this. We live in a digital era where communication and productivity are available at a touch of a button. I believe we tend to live in sensory overload. We are so great at multitasking life that we miss out on living life with Christ. I am learning how to do that. This time is so precious to me, but it isn't my only time with God. In fact, I don't get to spend this kind of rest in Him every day. It usually occurs once ever three days or so. Every morning I wake up, and before I do anything else I spend time in the word - reading scripture, journaling what I observe God doing in that Scripture, journaling what I should apply to my life from that Scripture, and journaling my conversation with God in light of that Scripture. This week I am beginning to do this with 4 chapters a morning. I can't go a day without this time. It is my breakfast of champions!

I desperately need this time with God. Ministry is so hard. Often I feel all eyes on me. There are times where I sense that people are watching and wondering if this can really work, a woman leading a church. I feel this pressure to be an example to other women. I feel like at any moment I could drop it all and leave a legacy of failure. Now, I know that some of those feelings are straight up a lie from the enemy. Some of those feelings are true and real, but not for me to spend time and energy fixating on. Some of those feelings don't matter at all. It is easy to start drowning in all the emotions and awareness of it all. There are days where I am doing all I can to just keep my head above water. There are days that I just want to quit, not because things are so bad but because I don't know why God chose me. Sometimes in the midst of it all I imagine what it would be like to live a normal life that blends in. "I can go to a church, be a godly wife, be a godly mom, teach a Sunday School Class." That would be a life changing existence that leaves a powerful legacy and blends in with perfect acceptability. My mom and mother-in-law taught me well by living this powerful world-changing example for me out loud. The problem with me following in their footsteps is that is not the future God built me to live. God shaped me to lead. God shaped me to forge into the dangerous wilderness to make it a smoother journey for those who are coming behind me. God created me for a challenging and adventurous life and ministry. The problem with the "normal" life is that it is not normal for me. God created me for difficulty. If life and ministry wasn't and adverse reality, I would be terribly bored and out of my element. Some boats are made for rowing, some for tugging, some for carrying, some for cruising, some for speeding, and some for weathering the storms. I am a stormy ship. Recently God has been incredibly mindful in encouraging me in my call, through MANY unrelated sources. The message has been the same...my life is a pearl of great price, clarifying a crown for eternity rather than present, and measured by a success that humanity cannot understand but only the Holy Spirit reveals. 

What motivates me to do what I do is knowing that what I do - this life I lead - is what I was built, shaped, created, and purposefully engineered to do and be. If I did anything else I would be lost because it isn't the life I was called, ordained, anointed, and appointed to live. The ease of being something else would be the weight of losing who I am created to be. This statement by Paul in Philippians 1:20-21 best states what motivates me to keep obeying the call of Christ,

" ²⁰ I expect and hope that I will not ·fail Christ in [^Lbe ashamed about] anything but that I will have the ·courage [boldness] now, as always, ·to show the greatness of Christ [or so that Christ will be exalted] in my ·life here on earth [^Lbody], whether I live or die. ²¹ [^LFor] To me ·the only important thing about living [^Lto live] is Christ, and ·dying would be profit for me [^Lto die is gain/profit]."

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